So earlier this week I shared a nugget about how the truth hurts. But there is more to that story if we are willing to include it in our story for growth and change. Being confronted by truth from the Holy Spirit, or others speaking into our lives can be for the good; life changing. As I shared in my testimony I had two dear friends of mine confront me about how I was engaging in sin regarding my addiction to gay pornography, masturbation and fantasy life. It was true. I didn’t like that it was true, but nonetheless it was true. I am thankful to God for softening my heart to really hear the truth and accept it that day. Just a few days earlier I was argumentative with them in an attempt to explain away my addiction that It was out of my control. (Lie). Confronted and convicted by truth. Now what? Truth checks. Do you and I have control over our actions and thoughts? Yes. Over the years I have come to realize more and more the lies I have believed about myself. Those lies can come from others, Satan, or even myself and my emotions.
Phillipians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
This verse has been critical for me in remembering the importance of truth checks. Isn’t it interesting that the very first direction for our thoughts is at truth?! Truth checks take some time for self-reflection. Since same-sex attraction is heavily impacted by thoughts of identity and worth that is often where I have to ask some questions. Some questions I have had to ask myself include; is my masculinity determined by my ability to fix a car, lift so many pounds, look like that, or whatever else it may be? Sometimes I can recognize the truth quickly and am rescued right away from the destruction of lies. Sometimes I struggle to believe the truth and and go back and forth in my mind about truth and lies; rescuing can be a process. My prayer is this, as your story is being written day by day – what is guiding your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Is it true?
As I close I anticipate the next blog entry focusing on key Biblical truths that have been helpful to me in my story; being rescued from the lies of identity and same sex attraction. ~Stan