Desire Gone Mad

Okay, my title is actually a quote or phrase from Dr. Dan Allender’s reflections within the dramatic documentary called The Heart of Man. I remember it because it was a very vivid and accurate definition of lust that I connected with. It certainly describes what would often be happening in my mind when I was struggling with lust and engaging in my pornography addiction. Devouring images and engulfed in a fantasy world. Consumed by cravings that never could be fulfilled. Desire gone mad!

Today I am sharing an excerpt from the book Pursuing Sexual Wholeness by Andrew Comiskey. (His testimony and ministry was one of the first that I became aware of on my journey of trying to figure out just what I was do with my struggle and my Christian belief). Don’t stop reading just because your personal struggle may not be a sexual one. Desire gone mad really can apply to any kind of desire other than toward God himself. If you have experienced or are living in any sort of addictive behavior I am confident you will be able to relate.

From the chapter Finding Greater Desire, “Romans 1:18-32 makes a strong case for this. The apostle Paul explained the powerful role of the Creator in maintaining sexual order and described the sexual chaos that results when individuals shift their focus from the Lord to the creature. Mankind possesses a powerful desire for the good– that innate yearning to worship our Maker and praise the One who ordained life (See Romans 1:19-20). When that yearning is suppressed, it becomes shrouded by lesser desires. Thinking becomes futile; hearts grow dark (see vv21-22). We’re vulnerable to all kinds of idolatry when our primary desire is not worshipping the creator.”

As I read that this week; it was like a flashing yellow light; a warning of danger. “We’re vulnerable to all kinds of idolatry when our primary desire is not worshipping the creator”. In my own journey of trying to discover manhood and my own masculinity, I am particularly vulnerable to literally worship or idolize other men. Not just in a physical/sexual way as one would assume about a person struggling with same sex attraction. It is so much more than that. As I learn more about myself and my sinful heart I have begun to realize how I have come to idolize men and their personalities of being confident, charming, effective communicators, charismatic, and being sensitive yet strong. In essence in my heart I wanted and desired to “be them”! Desire gone mad.

Comiskey continues, “All of us, Christian or pagan, emerge out of a broken world that fractures our desire for worshipping the Creator and renders us susceptible to lesser appetites. None of us is exempt from the implications of Romans 1. Accordingly, Paul went on to describe homosexual practices as a potent symbol of desire gone awry. He broadened that example to include a slew of evil thoughts and practices that issue of the rebellious heart ( see vv. 23-32).

May these thoughts and the word of God challenge all of us to honestly consider what our hearts desire. Is it worshipping God our creator or are we falling prey to futile thinking and darkness by placing our desires elsewhere?

From the Word of God: Romans 1:18-32

“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, name his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, the exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves. Because they exchanged the truth about God for a like and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever ! Amen.

For this reason, God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, boastful inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

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