Rebellious Heart Within

Praise the Lord
His Mercy is More
Stronger than Darkness
New every Morn
Our Sins are Many
His Mercy is More

Rebellious heart — that thought has been triggering in my mind from a daily devotion on how Adam and Eve were rebellious in eating the fruit from the forbidden tree. I was intrigued and encouraged by the reminder from the author that God was quickly there in that moment; not to judge the sin but to defeat it. (New Morning Mercies By Paul David Trip, Entry for November 26)

As I consider this; I am struck that it was rebellion against the Father. My mind goes toward how often pastors & Biblical counselors share how the relationship we have with our earthly father is often transferred to our relationship with the Heavenly Father. Hmm! I often held a rebellious attitude toward my father. I am not sure what it initially stemmed from; perhaps my unaware bitterness I had toward him on how I ‘felt’ neglected as a boy – longing to be taught what it meant to be man and to be encouraged in anything about my masculinity – perhaps it was there, I just didn’t see it. However, as I have matured and grown up I do know that my dad loves and cares for me deeply.

I find it interesting how a lot of that rebellious attitude was often really hidden in my heart and mind. Thoughts of bitterness, anger and even hate towards him. I held some very strong feelings; they truly were kept in and weren’t visible or uttered. Even now I cannot really think of any strong evidence of when it was overtly evident. Perhaps it was more subtly displayed when my attitude towards farm work, or other things that he wanted me to do- of which I did not want to do. How does that relate/correspond to my current sin struggles? Completely. I like to hide it from the Heavenly Father; well seemingly — as I do know and realize that He knows. Since the Heavenly Father is not physically present with me it seems as if those sins are hidden and not evident. But the TRUTH it is not.

How disappointing my selfish actions must be towards my Heavenly Father. The Father who ultimately created and designed me sees how I rebelliously act and think; not seeing myself as a good thing or “enough” and how I subsequently become filled with selfish greed, envy, and jealousy towards others. Essentially I am entering into an idolatrous worship of man, consumed by it and overtaken by it.

“How dare You! ” That line comes from a testimony of a brother in Christ in how his mother had challenged him to more readily to see himself as the man God created him to be. Likewise my heart & mind is being challenged “How Dare I?” How dare I consider myself as less than. God created me. The God who created the universe created me! Uniquely created for good, the good of His glory (See Previous Post: War for Glory ). This is nothing short of significant value. How dare I think differently! May you recognize the unique value He has in creating you too. You and I created for His Glory. It is good!

Lord forgive me, forgive me for my rebellious heart, selfish heart, ungrateful heart, envious heart, jealous heart, idolatrous heart, and more. No wonder I need a new heart! So the story continues, while I become more aware of my own sin, may my awareness of His grace and mercy increase as well. Likewise my brothers & sisters as you consider the condition of your heart, may you Praise the Lord for His Mercy is More!”

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