Message of Great Hope

God just makes me smile! I was just looking at my blog posts and thinking man…I really need to get to my next entry. It has been brewing in my mind off and on for a number of days. The last two weeks at “virtual church” we sang a song that put lyrics and music together that depicted this message so well, “Living Hope”. Guess what song started playing on Spotify just now. Yep! “Living Hope”! As I often do, I will include the song at the conclusion of this post. May it stir in you praise and gratitude toward God! To Him is our answer!

As I reflect upon my journey one common theme that often strikes me is Death and Life. As the Holy Spirit nudges, pokes and even smacks me some times, I have grown to see how my sin causes death in me. The sin, whether sexual lust, impatience, critical spirit, envy, jealousy, idolizing man, or whatever it may be, essentially eats away at whom God has created me to be. He knows exactly the man that He (God) created Stan Newton to be in his fullest, for His (God’s) purpose. He as my creator knows me best, knows exactly how I can best be a son, brother, friend, teacher, counselor, member of a church and community. Likewise He knows you best and whom He has created you to be.

Romans 12:1-2 is one of my favorite verses and sets forth quite a challenge: “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect“.

I am drawn to three key words in this verse. 1) Sacrifice. As I consider it, it represents for me personally the areas of “self desire” that I need to sacrifice or give up in order to really come alive to God’s perfect will and plan for me. What I think and feel is good and right is not always right! All too often it is quite self-serving; not God serving. Hmm. 2) Transforming. I need to have my thinking transformed towards God’s ways and not my ways. I pray often, that He transform my heart as only He can, ultimately to get my attention, stir conviction and change my heart and thinking toward what is right and then to sacrifice my self-serving motives to His greater plan and purpose for me. 3). Perfect. Uh. He, as the creator of not just me but the entire world, knows what is best. Consider it!

It’s a process! While I am saved from the death penalty of my sins, I am continually growing and learning those areas that require sacrifice. As those change, I feel more alive; living life more fully as he intended. In that comes joy! There are seasons that seem to boom with conviction and transforming heart change, while other seasons may be quiet or slow.

I think this is where I shall end my thoughts today, seek Him to transform your heart to be the man or woman of God that he is calling you to be. He is our Living Hope to truly LIVE and have JOY! ~Stan

Born Gay?

Here goes! As I respond to this question, I sincerely recognize there is quite a range of views and thoughts on this topic. As a result I do want to approach the subject sensitively and with a Biblical view.

Many people’s stories of their sexuality are prefaced with statements such “I have always felt this way”, “I knew I was gay when I was very young”, “I always felt different”. It is naturally hard to disagree with such a statement when it is very much a very personal perspective and story. While within my story I wouldn’t say that I always felt attracted to the same sex, I don’t want to be dismissive of another’s experience. Who am I to argue differently?

I think I get it, though. The attraction and desires can be so powerful, unsurmountable, and seemingly impossible to change, one can easily come to a conclusion that this is just who I am and I am born this way. There may have been times that I thought or questioned it but I don’t remember it. Perhaps it was because in the depths of me I couldn’t quite reconcile that with my Biblical beliefs about what God intended in the creation of man, woman, and the purpose of sex. Those beliefs being that men and women are distinctly and uniquely created different. Different with the intent of complementing one another in union of marriage – to become one. Sex is also Biblically directed to solely be the most intimate union between husband and wife in that “oneness”. In that oneness is significant emotional and physical connection that can be blessed with children!

So, how can I begin to wrap my head around the complexity of the issue and attempt to understand my own attractions and desires that seem so innate?

There is no scientific evidence of a gay gene. Period. Unfortunately the media and many activists struggle to acknowledge this truth. As a result many still boldly claim they people are born gay. If this is your belief I challenge you to consider this….

A precept of Christianity is that we are born sinners. It is Biblically founded in both the Old and New Testament scriptures following the fall of Adam and Eve into sin. Check out this resource for key passages. Doesn’t being born as a sinner explain why and how we find it easy to lie and to be selfish among other things that are considered sinful. No one had to teach us those things. Does it not then also make sense that this would explain why individuals may “feel” as if they were born gay? Although all these things may seems natural, does it make it right? Does it align with God’s intent and plan for us? Ponder it.

Personally, I believe this creates a lot of understanding and a Biblical way to approach the Born Gay ? with truth. It also provides a gateway to the message of the Gospel of Hope in Jesus Christ! What is that hope to be had ? Romans 5: ” 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ” What does that mean? What hope does that bring someone that is struggling with same sex attraction and wants help? First – check out His Story. Second – stay tuned for my next post for the Message of Great Hope. ~ God Bless, Stan

Just a quick add – on. This just makes me think of a resource : Compassion without Compromise. It’s a good read whether you are personally struggling or desire to Biblically build a connection to a person struggling with their sexuality.

Staying Connected!

Hey all! Hope this finds you well! For many, you are at home – a lot! I hope you are staying healthy and doing your part to be safe and keep others safe while figuring out new ways to communicate with friends and family. I had some fun this morning sending out a few quick video text messages to let some folks know that I am thinking of them even though I may not be seeing them. I challenge you to do the same. Send a message to those that are on your prayer list. Check out your contact list and see whom you might be triggered to reach out and connect with. In particular consider contacts that are single. 🙂

While I am used to being home alone a lot and I am used to it, this social distancing thing gets a little rough. No wife, no kids, not even a dog! LOL. My sister is strongly encouraging me to get one. Anyway, I really didn’t realize how much I was missing people until the first Sunday of virtual church. I was eager and excited to engage in a new way with my church family. As I saw my pastor start the online service and a few lead us in songs of worship, I unexpectedly began to cry. I truly missed being with my church family. Since I am alone quite a bit, Sunday can be a big deal to me – even as an introvert! :). It has spurred me to stay connected with people and be more intentional on my part. No worries, I am actually doing very well. I can share I am super grateful for my close friends that have let me in to be part of doing life with them – even during Covid 19! ~Stan

Imagination & Wonder

Earlier today I was watching a message from Ed Buch of Pure Life Ministries. A segment of his message grabbed my thoughts. I will share some personal reflections based on his thoughts. Imagination & Wonder – a gift from God. I had never really considered it as a gift but in the right place I can begin to comprehend that. Imagination and wonder comes from our thoughts. Where are our thoughts going? Are they in the right place?

Philippians 4:

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I am confident I am not alone in wondering from time to time what Heaven may be like. The Word of God gives just a tiny glimpse, and even that is constrained by our own human thinking; which is not like His! Mercy Me’s song ” I can only Imagine” puts to words that very thing as well. We tend to fix our imagination on things that we hope for, things that are not seen. Things that cause us to wonder and put a smile on our face and a stirring in our heart anticipation. It’s a good thing right?!

Have you ever considered how our imagination gets on the wrong path? A path toward destruction ? Two words. Lust and Masturbation. Consider it. Without a doubt in my mind both lust and masturbation represent how we, by our own choices, destroy the good in imagination and wonder. Does lust and masturbation pass the test of Philippians 4:8? If each of us honestly reflect on that, our answer should clearly be No! Conviction.

May our imagination and wonder be directed by His word and His truth for the great things He has in store – For His Glory – which is the very best – beyond what we can imagine and wonder! Mind-blowing! ~Stan

PS. Stay tuned – I am still working on my thoughts to share regarding the Born Gay? question; I want to be sure my words accurately and sensitively share my perspective.

A little Reflection

The days of winter are passing, I am thankful! I am eagerly anticipating the Spring season and the newness it brings. Reflecting back on the last couple of months it has not been easy, and in honesty sin has seemingly found its way into my heart in a variety ways; which has only added to the battle and my frustration. As previously shared, wrestling through the unknown regarding the job I love was a distraction. There were many a moment that I did not handle the situation well. I wanted to do better. I am realizing now how it impacted my zeal. Now that the situation around my job has settled significantly, I am praying for a return of that zeal. Part of that zeal is related to the very purpose of this blog – to share the hope, love and truth of Jesus with others!

Last month I was able to attend a training conference for Biblical counseling. Intrigued? Check it out here. It was an intense week, full of many informative sessions. One of the session topics that got my attention was “Counseling those with Same Sex Attraction”. As that is very much a part of my story and connects to one of my purposes of this blog I was all ears! I was struck by the presenter’s insightful response to a common question “Are people born Gay?” My intent for my next blog entry is to share his thoughts.

In the meantime, I want to share a song with you. As you know I have a significant appreciation for Christian music. “My story’s just begun, And failure won’t define me
‘Cause that’s what my Father does” were the lyrics that got my attention. God defines me; not my job, my checking account, my sin, my church or my family. God defines you and me! Oh there is much more there to be said about that Another blog entry! 🙂 ~Stan

The Ride Continues!

Days go by waiting to hear whom has been chosen to fill the position at this other school. Days go by waiting to hear whom may lose their jobs at my school. In that waiting my heart was nudged to consider how much I had “really” surrendered to where this ride may take me. Huh, surrendering to a position that I was confident I would like wasn’t too hard; although I did anticipate some challenges that it would require I face. A week ago I learned that they offered that position to someone else. Rollercoaster down! Waiting. This past week those that would be losing their jobs were told. While I was relieved I was not one of them my heart was troubled as I learned that I would no longer be working with some of my very favorite people. It’s like a family being split apart. Rollercoaster Down! I have a job. Rollercoaster Up!

So I am still on this ride! My job for the most part will be quite similar to my current position with some changes that have yet to be worked out in the weeks ahead. I am very thankful for the friends and family that have been on the ride with me and that God has the control! The adventure continues. Stay Tuned – the story’s not over! ~Stan

Still Here — In the Unexpected

It has been nearly a month since my last post. While God was writing a story in my heart I was silent here. His faithfulness has and is carrying me on a roller coaster ride. In December I became aware of some potential job cuts within my school district. It was disheartening to consider a job loss or a job change. I really enjoy my current position as a school counselor for students in grades 5-8. Rollercoaster Upside Down! Nonetheless I was stirred to consider that He could be using this circumstance to direct me elsewhere; to a place that I would not have even considered without this situation. I began to explore all sorts of things; openings at area schools, the AEA, online education services, and local colleges & universities. I also considered selling my home and downsizing. Do I really need this specific home? Nope. Would I miss it – absolutely! Do I need it? Nope. With very mixed feelings from sadness to anger to a little excitement I ventured.

The thoughts of a position at Waldorf University intrigued and excited me, the adventure of selling my home and being able to personalize another house to become my home also stirred some thoughts and dreams. Rollercoaster Up! Doors closed on a couple of houses I was considering and a job opportunity at Waldorf. Rollercoaster Down!

In January, I learned of the seriousness of the changes at the school. “Many people will lose their jobs.” Ugh. Rollercoaster Down! My mind raced with thoughts. Several weeks earlier I had learned of an opening at an area school in which I would be qualified to fulfill. For a variety of reasons I was not enthused initially. With some promptings by His Spirit about surrender, my heart was changing. As I considered the unknown future how could I not want to be where He wanted me to be to serve others with gifts and skills he has and would give me. Although it might not be “I want” it could be what He wants. Hmm. Which would be best?! Roller coaster twist, Rollercoaster turn!

I applied, I interviewed. In that surrender, my heart was charged with some excitement. As learned more about the school and had the interview I was very interested and hopeful that God might take me on an adventure here. Rollercoaster Up! Up! Up! The anticipation and waiting was a struggle wondering about this opportunity while also wondering what may result with my current position. God continued to speak reminders of his faithfulness. One particular morning I was listening to a song on the radio and my ears perked up to a lyric; “In the waiting the God who is never late is working all things out.”

Yes I Will by Vertical Worship

I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won’t fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who’s never late
Is working all things out
You’re working all things out

Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
All my days, oh yes I willI count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won’t fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who’s never late
Is working all things out
Is working all things out

Oh, yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
For all my days, oh yes I will
For all my days, oh yes, I willAnd I choose to praise
To glorify, glorify…

The Cost of Sin

It was in the Spring of 2017 when I realized this incredible cost sin can have on one’s life. I received a letter in the mail that shared the news that a dear brother in Christ had recently been arrested for a moral failure and had resigned from his ministry position. My heart sank and broke for him, his wife, his two children, his extended family and the massive number of people that knew him and had been influenced by his involvement in ministry. A new awareness of Satan and his schemes became very real. Just as it states in John 10: “10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” (Special Note: Stay tuned for an update on how God is writing this man’s story).

This news sent me in a tailspin emotionally, mentally and spiritually for my dear friend but honestly for myself as well. I considered my own sexual brokenness of lust, pornography, and same sex attraction and the cost it could have in my life if it continued. Broken relationships and shattered dreams and goals. While I was aware of my sin and was on a journey of repentance and change there was room for greater change and freedom and I knew it. It was time to get more serious. It wasn’t until the late fall of 2017 that I took a significant step. Prior to this I had attended conferences, read books, shared my story with pastors, established some accountability partners and sought Biblical counsel. I wanted to keep growing and to connect with someone that could understand my specific sexual struggles better. I reached out to Restored Hope Network and they referred me to Free Indeed Ministries out of Maine! Yes, Maine! They offered a “Freedom Fighter” program via phone. I applied for the program and was coached by the ministry director on a pathway to freedom from my sexual addictions. I learned much on the journey and much of what you read in my entries is founded on the truths that I learned while in that program.

While the reality of some of the potential “big” costs pushed me to seek additional counsel on my journey, there are many “little” costs to sin as well. May we all be alert to all the costs of sin. May they be a warning and motivator. ~Stan

Important questions for you and I consider:

  1. How do my thoughts influence those around me? (They may seem private or secret – but are they? How do those thoughts influence my mood, the words I speak or how I view others? )
  2. How often does my seemingly little sinful thought take me down a path toward greater sin? (I believe this is super important to consider when entertaining a lustful thought — taking thoughts captive with the help of the 3 Second Rule?)
  3. How are my sinful behaviors affecting those around me?
  4. How are my sinful behaviors affecting my relationship with Jesus?
  5. Am I on a path of destructive sin that needs my drastic attention? (If so, I encourage you to cry out to the Lord and reach out today to someone help you on your journey toward Jesus and freedom! Be rescued!

Smile! :)

The start of my day. It started early at 4 a.m. I abruptly awoke from a bad dream that just left me MAD! Although it was just a dream the angry emotions were real and lingered. I did get back to sleep after some time. Meanwhile I was also hoping for a 2 hour late start as the forecast included a winter weather advisory for freezing drizzle. Yesterday was sorta a slippery cautious winter commute w/o an advisory. Surely we would have a delay! Nope. Up and at em!

Dressed and heading out the door … snag – rip! I caught my dress pants on an old antique wooden chest and ripped the side of my pants. Quick change! Now I’m running really close to being late. Headed to the truck as the Jeep was in the shop getting its oil changed. Ugh — that tire looks low. I am going to be late now! Texted my boss to alert her of my little perils and potential delay of arriving to work.

Down the street I go, I attempted to engage the 4X4 on the truck multiple times as a precaution for slippery conditions. It was snowing lightly and there was some wet accumulation on the road. Nope…didnt want to go into 4X4 Ugh. Got to the gas station; tired looked okay so was on my way. 🙂

So that was a little chaotic start and then I heard this song to help me redirect my thoughts and attitude. Smile! As I arrived at work, I was doing better and was working on my Smile! Thankful to God in how he orchestrate the little details to speak to my heart and mind. May we all be more alert to them! ~Stan!

Physical Connection!?

This heading may be another one that got your attention or perhaps raised your eyebrows a little. 🙂 It’s all good. I was watching a video clip this morning and noticed a scene where a couple was walking together hand in hand. Hmm. Truth be told it made me a little sad that I have not had that opportunity. 🙂 It fostered some thoughts that I have had from time to time regarding the significance of human touch. I’m not going down the road of sexual touch here but the principles here will emphasize the even greater significance of sexual touch.

So…holding hands is a very simple gesture yet as I witness it in a pure form isn’t it a profound display of connection? Someone willingly (hopefully) taking part of someone and clinging together; demonstrating significantly that your are “with them”. Not alone.

A pat on the shoulder likewise demonstrates physically that you really see the other person and their presence. A hand-shake, perhaps it may turn into a routine but it really does have a relational significance. I admit I may be more aware of this as a man that has struggled with same sex attraction and connecting to men in a healthy way. The handshakes, pats on the back, and even hugs are pretty significant to me – healthy connections to brothers in Christ.

When I think of the impact of handshakes I quickly go to a man in my previous church that was always quick to put out his hand to greet me; no matter the circumstance. I admired the man for this trait and have yet to really challenge myself to emulate his character. Bob S. may you rest in peace my brother, I miss your handshakes! In my current church, I often witness a high school young man demonstrating this trait of connecting with people with a handshake. I admire him for his maturity in recognizing and connecting with others.

There are other instances like this that I am so grateful for. I recall one Sunday morning a few years ago where a young man patted me on the shoulder from behind in greeting me. He didn’t know me; yet made an effort to connect and introduce himself. I was blown away; appreciative of his willingness to connect and greet me in a very personal way.

I just did a google search on physical touch in the Bible and some of the references that stood out to me included:
– Laying on of the hands in prayer
– Embracing
– Greeting with a Holy kiss
– Washing of the disciples feet
– Jesus reaching out and touching the leper

Also consider how it is often the case near death that hands are held, likewise we understand the significance of human touch with new born babies.

Without a doubt I believe God intended us to connect with one another and it involves physical touch. May we all be more alert to how God may be prompting us to connect with one another; a handshake, fist-bump, pat on the bag, or hug. Perhaps it will serve as a goal for this New Year 2020! ~Stan